My oldest friend was supposed to come and visit today. I haven’t seen her in ages: in that time she’s gone to South Afrika with her boyfriend I’ve only met once, has had a few different jobs (I believe. I don’t know exactly what she does now) and pretty much moved in with her man. I don’t even know how long it’s been, but that’s the thing with great friends: it doesn’t matter. When you see each other, you get right back to where you left things, like nothing ever changed. I was excited for her visit, but ofcourse, ME got in the way. Last night I didn’t sleep well, which left me with weak feeling in my body all day and a “weak heart”. My heart is not actually weak, in fact, it’s fine, the doctor says. But when I’m this tired it feels weak, really really weak.
Anyway, I’ve been in bed all day now, sleeping. I really tried to wake up. Do you ever have that, that you feel like you got up and did what you’re supposed to do (in my case, let the poor dog outside to do his business) and then you notice that you’re STILL IN BED SLEEPING. I had that a couple of times today. At some point thankfully, I did wake up and let the dog out, but now I’m back in bed (blogging).
Of course I’m pissed off at my illness at the moment that I have to cancel on someone I’d love to see. I’m grateful that she, and my other friends and familymembers, never get angry for it. They get it. But still, it sucks. This illness, as I’m sure many more illnesses are, is so unpredictable. Yesterday I was fine. I had a normal day, a good day, I felt okay. And then today is spent in bed again, and I have no idea what I did to cause that. This is not what I planned for today. I was going to do groceries and make a lovely pumkin dish tonight. Now I will probably grab something out of the freezer. I was going to vacuum and walk a bit with my dog. Don’t feel up to it, though I’m hoping I can do the walk later. Instead, I’m in bed, feverish, sweaty, exhausted. I have to take a deep breath and get myself together. It’ll be okay. My friend said: “see you soon though, okay?”. Yes. I really hope so.
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