Okay, so yesterday wasn’t such a good day. What’s it going to be today? I have a lot planned: I need to vacuum (I have a cat and a long-haired dog and haven’t vacuumed in a few days, so, yeah). Tuesday is toilet-cleaning-day. There are some boxes in the middle of the livingroom that should have been moved days ago. Kai really needs to get a decent walk today. I finally want to cook that pumpkin dish my mother(not-yet-in-law) made for Christmas. Boyfriend will get the ingredients for me, so I don’t have to worry about that. I want to do my usual blog- and bookreading. And do some knitting.
I look forward to this day, but my heart is still feeling weak, which means I’m still way too tired. Boyfriend laughs at me for sleeping through my alarm clock these last few weeks, which I never used to do. I always wondered (angrily) why I had to keep waking up because of his alarm and he didn’t. Now, I’m sleeping through mine. I guess I’m just tired lately.
So it’s always kind of a dilemma in the mornings for me. Mornings are by far the worst hours in the day for me, I’m so sleepy and tired, I just want to go back to bed. But really I don’t, because I sleep away so many hours in which I can do so many other things I want to do or need to be done. I want to be productive and have an active life. So sleeping away mornings is absolutely not what I want and also is definitely no guarantee that I will feel better the rest of the day. So what do I do? Do I keep calm and try to do some low-energy things, like reading (though I’m often too sleepy to concentrate) and knitting? Or do I push through, make myself do something active with the risk of going over my limits? My therapist told me it was important to keep my sleeping times steady, that I have to go watch tv if I have to, but I should try to stay awake till naptime. When is naptime? Well, I always try to stay awake for 3 hours after waking up in the morning. I often fail though. I don’t watch tv. Family values tell me to not watch tv during the day, and that really stuck with me (thanks, mom). I just really try to stay awake and do something.
I’ve been reading up on how to blog. Tips and tricks. Strategies for gaining followers (I love it if you like or share and even more if you comment!). I’ve been on Pinterest for hours yesterday and it got me wondering: why do I even write this blog? And why would you even read it? It’s not like my life is that interesting right now. I don’t have one specific subject to talk about, such as food or beauty or travel. I just write what’s on my mind and I expect you to like it. But why would you? I don’t have a specific group I want to reach out to, though I definitely write with the spoonie-community in mind. What I would like, is that one of you readers is actually helped by something I said. That one of you may recognize things you struggle with and feel acknowledged (which is so very important if you’re ill with an invisible but also with a visible illness). That the healthy readers learn about what it’s like to be young and disabled. I want to be honest. But I don’t want to write about illness alone. This is my happy spoonie project. And I want to write about everything and anything that motivates me, that makes me happy, that interests me. Maybe you’ll get inspired. I’d love that! So as I’m figuring this blogging-thing out, I’m just taking you along with me on my journey. I don’t know yet what my “style” is, how many times a week I should post, but I guess we will figure it out together!
On another note, this week I will introduce you to my very first guestblogger! I’m so excited. I’m going to try to get an interesting guestblogger each month. We can learn so much from other people. I read The Happiness Project of Gretchen Rubin (which I recommend) and she asked herself the same thing: why would anyone want to read about my personal journey towards happiness? But it seems that you can read up on all things happiness, but get more motivated by what one specific person does, even if you would handle it totally different. Even if you have goals that don’t even resemble hers. And I found that it sure works like that for me. I don’t have the same goals as Gretchen does, but everytime I’m feeling low or need some motivation, I read about how she sings in the morning, how she quit sugar, how she decluttered her house. And I get crazy motivated to work on my own goals. So I guess that’s what I want to do with this blog: inspire you to work on your own goals, motivate you by telling you about how I do it. I’d love to know your stories, please don’t hesitate to comment, or if it’s more private, email me.
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