She Gained a Little, Didn’t She?

You gained a little, my dad said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Does it bother you?

I just told him about a weird dream I had. I was suddenly very obese and couldn’t move properly. He took it as a sign that I was bothered by the weight I apparently gained.

I just hope S. [will not be further identified] won’t comment on it on Sunday, he said. Wait, what? Sure, I gained a little bit but that was all it was, a little bit. I’m still very much in the “normal” range. I still don’t feel particularly insecure about it when I have my clothes on, and trust me, weight gain is a subject I usually feel insecure about as soon as I notice it. I totally didn’t see this coming.

Apparently, my family sat down in a circle and discussed my weight. S. started the conversation, my granddad probably agreed and my mother was silently chopping their heads off, furiously. How dare she bring that up? Like they hadn’t noticed. Like hadn’t noticed. Like I didn’t have other things to worry about, like recovering from a severe chronic illness.

Aside from the fact that I did not see this one coming and do not think my weight gain is worrisome at all, what bothered me most about this family newsfact was that when S.  saw me and thought of me, she decided it was totally normal to bring up my weight. That was the thing she wanted to discuss when it comes to me, someone who has been severly ill for the last two years. I’d think that there are more interesting things to talk about when it comes to me. There are a lot of things one can ask me. Do you still go to therapy? Are you able to read again? Are you able to use the computer again? How about that blog of yours, how’s that coming? Do you get nice responses? Are you helping people? I heard you’re thinking of starting a course to slowly get back to University, tell me about that? You just adopted a dog, how is that going? Are you able to walk longer distances now? Heard you’re walking through nature every wednesday with your dad, what an amazing accomplishment!

But, no. Me gaining some weight is the higher priority. And I said it before, and I’ll say it again: I did not gain much. AT. ALL. I’m the first to agree that gaining weight usually is a bit worrisome, especially when you’re gaining a lot of it, and fast. One can worry about that if one cares about you, or just likes to gossip. But that is not the case at all.

Yes, I did gain a little. It’s kinda logical. When you don’t have the energy the vacuum most days, you certainly don’t have energy to go to the gym for an hour. Work up a sweat. I work up a sweat when I do the dishes. I have a very healthy diet. And I refuse to eat less and be hungry in order to lose the little bit of weight I gained. I need my strength to recover from this awful illness. That’s more important than looking perfect. I need energy to be a good girlfriend, to walk my dog, to function. I’d rather have a bit more of me and function, than that I have the perfect beach body but can’t go to the beach.

So if S. asks me about it on Sunday, I think this is what I will respond: Yes I heard that was bothering you. But, like, why?!

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  1. ScorpioSpoonie

    I relate so much to this. Growing up, and even now, I have dealt with the uncomfortable situations that family and friends have put me in. I used to care so much about what they thought. Now, I keep my distance, work on myself and it’s the healthiest choice I’ve made in a long time. Not having to deal with their cruel words and judgments makes me more calm. I wish no harm on them but keeping them at bay is best for my mental health.
    I don’t believe it’s okay to comment on someone’s body without asking, even more so if they ask you NOT to comment on it. It’s rude and abusive.

    Thank you for this article, it was beautiful to read and relate to. Much love! xox

  2. Crystal Dayton

    I have no clue why some get so hung up on wieght. I think as long as your happy with your weight that’s what matters. Love yourself 😀

    1. admin

      Exactly! I think so too 🙂

  3. I will never understand why someone’s weight is regarded by so many people as an appropriate topic of conversation.

    1. admin

      Me neither!

  4. Tee

    Oh dear, I could say a lot about people who like to touch on those issues may aren’t really comfortable with but I won’t…. Just to say, I love your reaction to it! Way to go! I should do/say that next time someone says something about me… I enjoyed reading this!

    1. admin

      Thank you so much!!

  5. Camille

    Try to remember that it’s not you. When someone points out something on another person, they are just trying to distract from themselves. Glad you are comfortable with you! That’s what’s important!

    1. admin

      True! Thank you 🙂

  6. It’s so true…why do we always get so hung up on this topic? I too have had similar situations and I just don’t get it.

    1. admin

      Thank you so much for reading and commenting! I’m not hurt by comments on weight, like you I just don’t get it. I would never say – or think – things like that.

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